School stuff . . .

1. This is why I do what I do:

"Mr. Toscano, I wanted to tell you how grateful I am for all you have done. National Honor Society has been particularly memorable. The times we had in Washington, D.C. [at the NHS national convention] will forever be in my memory. NHS was one of the best groups I have been in during high school. NHS and you as well pushed me to beter my community through many community service opportunities. I would also like to thank you for writing a letter recommendation letter [cq] for a scholarship. You wrote a letter in the span of two days while you were busy with other things. I want to tell you how thankful I am for everything you have done for me and making my high school years easier.

2. I love teaching at a school that has a Culinary Arts program. First of all, then kids are late to class, the teacher often sends a cookie or a sandwich as a "Pass.” Secondly, I get notes that say, “Please allow her to be late. She had to peel a dozen eggs.

That’s not as good as having an Agricultural Science program like we did back at Ledyard when one student told me she was late, “because I had to catch my sheep,” and another had to leave early because “my horse is being gelded.”

3. So what do you do when a kid says, "The word slut makes me think of my mother?" Yeah, it ain't never boring.

4. I could teach Civil Rights all year long.

News and commentary

The following is a new service of Ordinary Mad Man Productions . . .

1. From The Boston Herald:

A Wrentham high school’s refusal to allow West Point officials to congratulate two student appointees at a school banquet has sparked outrage among parents and politicians who are calling the decision "shameful" and "sad."

"I’m upset by it and I’m still puzzled as to why the principal decided to do what she did," said U.S. Rep. James McGovern, D-3rd. "It seems like someone has made a decision and they’re going to stick to it, whether it makes sense or not."

The decision means King Philip High School students Jeffrey Chin of Plainville and William Small of Norfolk will not receive official recognition at tomorrow’s banquet for years of grinding work required to earn acceptance to highly prestigious West Point.

"It’s shameful they’re taking this position with a U.S. military academy," said William’s proud father, Alan Small. "I think as educators they have done a good job, but I disagree with this."

OK, so maybe the rabid talk-show hosts in Boston are making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill, but this is a pretty fricking big deal. I mean, we're talking tougher to get into than Harvard at a time folks are no pro-military. The cool thing is, the kids were really classy in their comments in another story. That tells me a lot about them.

2. From the Boston Globe:

DUXBURY -- He's probably just days from breaking Casey Powell's national scoring record of 553 points. But today Duxbury's Max Quinzani is the talk of the town for a different reason: He wasn't selected as one of the EMass representatives on the boys' lacrosse All-America team.

The EMass Coaches Association, made up of 14 league representatives, met Friday to select its 21 All-Americans. After much deliberation and discussion, a field of 196 candidates was narrowed to 19 seniors and two juniors.

Quinzani was not one of them.

In a statement released yesterday, the Coaches Association cited ``several on-field sportsmanship issues" for leaving Quinzani off the roster, but it did not mention a specific incident.

The US Lacrosse Association does not specify a sportsmanship standard for its All-America team, but the EMass committee said its players ``were chosen based on talent, sportsmanship, and how they respect and honor the game."

Lacrosse is a sport on the rise, and at Duxbury games, youngsters watch the players' every move. It's something the committee is cognizant of.

``We recognize our duty to make sure the wrong example is not set for the up-and-coming future of the sport of lacrosse," its statement said.

The "Asshole Clause." I love the fricking "Asshole Clause." I wonder how much of this had to do with the Duke lacrosse team thing. Sorry, son, you may be a great player, but you're a buttnugget. Now to be honest, this is a tough call for me because I believe that Pete Rose and Shoeless Joe Jackson should be in the Hall of Fame, and I would vote for Mark McGwire in a heartbeat if I had a vote. But still, this kid must be a real and true asshat.


3. From the web site of the Houston Fucking Astros

HOUSTON -- Retirement and the Hall of Fame will have to wait a little longer for Roger Clemens, because The Rocket has decided to go on one final mission for Houston.

No. 22 agreed to terms Wednesday on a one-year deal with the Astros to come back for a 23rd season, or at least the remaining four months of the current season.

No, no, no! A thousand time no. If he’d come to Boston, I could have lived without winning the World Series this year. (Of course if he did, we would have).

Arrrrggggghhhhhhhhh.

And as if Josh Beckett looking like a combination of gasoline and a match last night wasn’t enough, we’ve got a rookie – who was most recently in Class AA Portland -- pitching tonight.

Arrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhh.

4. From The Salt Lake City Tribune:

A parent's allegations that a high school newspaper in Highland violated state and federal law has raised questions about student journalism, but Alpine School District has no plans to censor content.

Stephen Graham, the father of a Lone Peak High School student, asked school administrators and the Utah State Office of Education to review the school newspaper after reading student opinion pieces about gay-straight clubs and an article on a vaccine to prevent cervical cancer. He believes the articles violate the federal student privacy act and Utah sex education laws.

"Sexuality and sexual matters are an adult topic that should be left for adults to decide when they're discussed," said Graham, who believes the Christian doctrine of sexual faithfulness and sexual purity is under attack in the U.S.

But after a preliminary review, the state office said it doesn't plan to take any action.

"I don't see a glaring violation of the law," said Carol Lear, director of school law and legislation. "It's not our role to tell newspaper advisers at Lone Peak High School what to do unless there was some glaring issue in violation of the law."

"Sometimes giving kids the opportunity to write some things may offend someone else and that's just sort of the nature of the news media," administrator Sam Jarman said.

Sometimes, even the folks in Utah get it right. Give me a fricking brake. Some people are a hundred yards behind the bumper of the Clue Bus. There's a real world out there, dude.

Fun with lyrics . . .

1. From Hank Williams Jr. and Kid Rock:

No, no in country music you just dont use the F-word
We’ve come along way but it's best if that ones not heard
Oh we had some hells and damns we dont say bitch we say “Yes, Ma’am.”
So in country music we just dont use the f word

2. From Joe Diffie Jr.

Well I ain't afraid of die'n,It's the thought of being dead
I wanna go on being me once my eulogys been read
Don't spread my ashes out to sea, don't lay me down to rest
You can put my mind to ease if you fill my last request

Prop me up beside the jukebox when I die
Lord I wanna go to heaven but I don't wanna go tonight
Fill my boots up with sand, put a stiff drink in my hand
prop me up beside the jukebox when I die

3. From the Arrogant Worms:

(Think "American Pie")

"I knew we could make Lord Stanley Dance . . . if we could draft a Big French Guy."