Mid-morning chuckle . . .

My job includes searching the Internet for jokes and other items for the summer youth employment program.

The following made me think of our Tony Bourdain discussion:

Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of "hickory-smoked possum jowls in pancake syrup." They summoned a waiter to complain.

Their waiters looked at the menu. Then he threw it down and yelled to the owner in the kitchen,

"Hey, the printers forgot to translate the menu into French again!"

And a coffee joke for evilnicola.

 

You can tell you drink too much coffee when . . .

 *Juan Valdez names his donkey after you

*You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked

*You grind your coffee beans in your mouth

*You sleep with your eyes open

*You have to watch videos in fast-forward

*You lick your coffee pot clean

*Your eyes stay open when you sneeze

*The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse

*You can type sixty words a minute with your feet

*You can jump-start your car without cables

*Your only sources of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low"

*You don't sweat, you percolate

*You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug

*You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee

*You've worn the finish off you coffee table

*The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you

*Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house

*You're so wired you pick up FM radio

*Your life's goal is to "amount to a hill of beans"

*Instant coffee takes too long

*You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can

*You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar"

*Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position

*Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup 

 

It's time for the Pennsic planning post . . .

Updated July 16

The main thing I look forward to at Pennsic is meeting friends, old and new, local and far-flung.

If you're going, please let me know here.

If you want to do something specific, either post here or drop me an e-mail.

I am sporting a new feature this year -- a red, leather coronet with gold frets on it. I usually wear it over a cap of maintenance.

OK, so where’s Liam?

I took my first swing through the Pennsic schedule.

We are planning to arrive on the middle Friday.

Here are some places I expect to be.

The concert are all in the performing arts tent, diagonally across the street from Maguire's Marauders, where we are lucky enough to camp/

Saturday

2 p.m.: Taking someone on a quick Pennsic tour.

4 p.m.: Taking pictures of a wedding for a friend.

5 p.m.: Coffee at Inner Vagabond to connect with friends.

Evening: Out and abouting with a friend. Maybe Eoforwic bardic, maybe Moonwulf, maybe other visits.

Sunday

11 a.m., Opening Ceremonies

2:30 p.m., Rapier Champions Tournament

4 p.m.: Tea time.

 5 p.m., Efenwealt concert

9 p.m., Event in Memory of Duke Morguhn in Aethelmearc Royal.

              I Sebastiani

 

Monday

4:30 p.m., Lost and Found Auction

Evening: Walksbout with a friend, then I will drop in at the EK Teen Party, because it is being run – again – by Baroness Pretty In Pink, I mean, Leonete. Also, a visit to the most hedonistic camp at Pennsic.

Fairly open after that. I will try to get down to the Chalkman.

Tuesday

10 a.m., Field Battle

3 p.m., EK Fencing Tournament

5 p.m., (or after the fencing): Taking photos in Bhakail.

7 p.m., Taking pictures at Bluefeather Ball.

8 p.m., Cerian’s concert if I am die at the Ball.

9 p.m., I will be helping at the EK Open party in EK Royal. Please stop by.

Wednesday

7 p.m., Raquy and the Caveman concert. (maybe)

8 p.m., Heather Dale concert! (If you have never heard her, please come).

I will probably try to drag bards across the street to our camp  after the concert.

Thursday

1 p.m., Ansteorra Fencing Tournament

3 p.m., Rapier Woods

6 p.m., East Kingdom Court.

Ansteorran Chili later, after their court. I am guessing Calontiri party, too.

I will probably wander up to the Midrealm Open party later.

Friday

These are tentative. Other things may occur. ;)

6 p.m., Closing Ceremonies.

8 p.m., “Much Ado About Nothing.”

We’ll leave Saturday.

I am looking forward to seeing you all!